A little cheeky and a touch risque, these playful plant-based jokes come with a dirty twist. Made for grown-up vegans and vegetarians with a naughty sense of humour, they are bold, funny and best shared among friends who can take a saucy plant-based punchline.
Be careful if you are eating hummus, it is the strongest aphrodisiac known to mankind. Ever heard of hummusexuals?
Guy: We need to stop testing our products on animals!
Boss: Why? Shampoo companies do it all the time...
Guy: Ya, but we make dildos!
People who think vegans only eat salad are the same people who think beds are the only furniture you can have sex on.
What are the most dangerous recipes?Answer: Ones that call for squashes and whipped cream.
What do you call a vegan guy who likes to pleasure himself?Answer: A non-dairy creamer.
What does Tofu and a dildo have in common?Answer: They're both "meat substitutes".
Why are all lesbians vegetarian?Answer: Because they don’t eat meat.
Why do vegans give good head?Answer: Because they are used to eating nuts.
Why don't vegans have sex?Answer: Beating meat is animal cruelty.
Why don’t vegan women scream when they have some bed activity?Answer: Because they do not want to admit, that a piece of meat gives them pleasure…
Why was the man with hummus spilled on his shirt called kinky?Answer: Because he had some chick-pea all over him.
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