Funny tofu jokes for plant lovers who like their humour as versatile as their protein. Silly, clean and a little wobbly, these vegan and vegetarian tofu jokes never fall flat. Whether firm or silken, share them with anyone who loves a good plant-based laugh.
How did the vegetarian quit smoking?Answer: He went cold tofu.
I knew a vegan who was an amazing martial artist. He had a black belt in to-fu.
I like making jokes about vegetarians… but never about tofu, that’s just tasteless.
Is that Tofu in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me.
My mom's making a Christmas tofurkey tomorrow, you wanna come along?
Tofu is really overrated
It's just a curd to me.
Vegans don't beat their meat
They beat their "0% dairy all organic tofu"
What did the guy tofu say to the girl tofu?Answer: You look soy fine!
What do tofu philosophers usually say?Answer: Tofu or not tofu.
What do you call a tray full of tofu veggie rolls?Answer: Finger-fu
What does Cher say to a vegetarian?Answer: I Got Tofu babe.
What does Mexican tofu say?Answer: Soy beans!
What does Tofu and a dildo have in common?Answer: They're both "meat substitutes".
What form of deadly martial arts are soybeans trained in?Answer: Tofu
What kind of self defence do vegans use?Answer: Tofu
What’s a non-meat eaters preferred fighting style?Answer: Tofu
When my wife changed religions she wanted me to be a vegetarian for health reasons. I started eating more fruits and vegetables religiously complemented with soy products such as tofu and veggie burgers. When I read the veggie burger package I was impressed by the multitude of mystery ingredients needed to make the veggie burger taste good. I said, “Wow if the soy doesn’t kill me the byproducts I buy will.”
Why did the tofu cross the road?Answer: To prove he wasn’t chicken.
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