Bean jokes that never get old and never stop giving. Funny, clean and just a little musical, these plant-based bean jokes are full of protein and puns. Vegans, vegetarians and anyone who loves a humble legume will find plenty here to laugh about and share.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Bean
Bean who?
Bean a while since I last saw ya!
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Beans.
Beans who?
Beans along time waiting for you to open the door.
What did Hamlet say?Answer: To bean or not to bean, that is the question.
What did the bean say to its friend who returned from a holiday?Answer: You’ve bean gone! How have you bean?
What do beans say to their Valentines?Answer: You keep me grounded.
What do you call a bean that’s an angel?Answer: A celestial bean.
What do you call a bean that’s envious of another vegetable?Answer: A jelly bean!
What do you call an athletic bean?Answer: A runner bean.
What do you call beans that have been in the sun too long?Answer: Baked beans!
What holiday do green beans like most?Answer: St. Patrick’s Day - because they fit right in!
What is a vegan’s favorite Nirvana song?Answer: Smells Like Bean Spirit
What is the fastest type of beans in the world?Answer: Usain Bean
Why are there exactly two hundred and thirty-nine beans in an Irish Bean Soup?Answer: Because if there were one more, it’d be too farty.
Why did the bean sell his car?Answer: The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
Why were the two green bean plants so close?Answer: They had deep roots.
You’re hotter than a black bean burger with cayenne pepper.
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